"im so fucking glad im not chronically online," I say as I overanalyze internet drama from almost like a year ago atp
(im just yapping, im not tryna drag anyone mentioned here cause theres no reason to drag tf) ((anyway))
idk, i know i have very little to no followers on here, and thats fine, i dont post, but i do like to just talk
i was thinking about how my perspective has changed about everything that kinda went down in my own little corner online, and i know some of the people in the dramas i was in either unfollowed, blocked or still follow me and like all thats cool but i am acknowledging that theres gonna be different ways we all remembered shit going down
whether we see ourselves in the right or wrong, doesnt really matter, cause its all kinda dumb
like jfc ur telling me i made a retarded doc about ramen noodiles, posted that shit on twt n thought i did something? like yeah i know there were some points in there that couldve been highlighted better, but like it was genuinely such a waste of mine and everyones time. also saying "everything is alleged" was literally so stupid, it made it more of a nothing burger
idk im talking like im being interviewed, maybe im getting too comfortable? idk
i could fuckin go on for days about just all the dumb shit that went down, screenshots I thought were like, real "gotcha" moments and they hardly were, like i dont have to like the dudes work, i dont have to like his goofy ass gooner audience and i dont have to pay his bills, why tf would i spend my time making a doc LMFAO
i think it mightve had a lot to do with the fact i wasnt allowing myself to stop caring so much as far as putting actual WORK into it and the """"situation"""", because at the time i was involved with this one server, which...... yeah, prolly shoulda stayed gone after I left the first time LMFAO idk that whole thing was stupid too, edge ur still goofy to me but thats okay lol
but like, side tangent kinda, at the time i was also in fuckin synnibear03s server when all the shit with her, birdie and the grooming shit was happening, its like remembering a circus cause there were jus so many goddamn clowns, including myself HONK HONK cause i was literally a part of her fanbase growing up, so i was jus tryna point out some of the weird behavior before i left, anyway
but like ill admit i was trying SOOOO hard to just, FIT, into these groups that i was just not.... really feeling,,,,, but like I was basically trying to carve in my own little spot as like this, desperate, little self important person, and its like- who tf died??? like why was I acting like i was running a literal boot camp. like i'll admit, there was definitely some shit that coulda been changed abt the rules n what was allowed, but i didnt need to be so worried about it. cauussee. if they dont pay ur bills, pay them no mind. RuPaul.
anyway
thinking/reflecting isnt wasting time. and neither is working on shit but like, yk everything has a certain point where it should jus kinda die. like, yeah, no shit.
so speaking of that, thats kinda what im gonna do here n cap it
i jus wanted to ramble in text online again okay bye